Piadas em inglês - aprender e se divertir

Autor Mensagem
maggie
Veterana
# mai/05


Pe pe pessoal
Vou postar por aqui de vez em quando umas piadas em inglês pra galera treinar o vocabulário e ao mesmo tempo se divertir.

Tenho umas meio sem-graça, mas relevem, relevem...

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


Peanuts
=======

A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits
on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.

"Mind if I have a few" he asks." No, not at all" the woman replied.

They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes
that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the
bowl.

"I'm terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really just meant
to eat a few."

"Oh that's all right" the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth all
I can do is suck the chocolate off them."

monk
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Piadas em inglês - aprender e se divertir

cuidado tuarelli, a maggie ta chegando

Alexandre Souza
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


oh yes! very good hayhayhayhay

Rato
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


isso me preocupa muito

Individuo
Veterano
# mai/05 · Editado por: Individuo
· votar


large bowl of peanuts

tradução: as largas bolas do pênis

isso ta ficando meio erotico...

Cabeça De Balde
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Naum achei graça...

I do not speak English!

Rato
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


meu curso " APRENDA INGLÊS EM 4 MESES " me parece que não teve muita utilidade

guitarist from hell
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


-My computer doens't work! The hard drive crashed! What do I do?
-Did you back up?
-Why? Is it gonna blow?

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


Individuo
tradução: as largas bolas do pênis
isso ta ficando meio erotico...


huehue
phoda

JediKnight
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


hehe essa é boa ... tem ateé em português

Rodrigo rvssvr
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


entendi mais ou menos, que a mulher comeu ameindoin, e a outra não tem dentes e sugava o chocolate, ahh sei lá hehe

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


At the Mental Hospital
==============

Malcolm and Maureen were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Malcolm suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Maureen promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
Malcolm out. When the medical director became aware of Maureen's heroic
act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as
he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Maureen the news he said:

Maureen, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being
discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by
jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Maureen, the patient you saved, hung himself right after
you saved him, with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he's dead.

Maureen replied:

He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry.

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


Rodrigo rvssvr
Era um pastor que foi visitar a véia.
:)

JediKnight
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


maggie
uahUHAUhauHAUHuahuHAUhauHAUHa muito boa essa mesmo

monk
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


essa da maureen é boa, a outra é bem idiota

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


monk
Yep

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


 

The Blonde at the Parking Lot
===================

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to
make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out
on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain
there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and
saying emphatically:

-- Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!

The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde, gave me
a strange look and said:

-- Why don't you just put it in park?

Ed_Vedder
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


I very well mister you

Rodrigo rvssvr
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Era um pastor que foi visitar a véia.
:)


eu leio e só pego as palavras que eu conheço, ai depois monto, ai a interpretação sai uma porcaria hehe

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


galera, postem aí uns textos in english pra nós!

JediKnight
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Se eu postar, quero ver a tradução em baixo, ok ?

adnz
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


maggie
po, essas aí nao tem graca :T
onde eu acho piadas em ingles? T_T

maggie
Veterana
# mai/05
· votar


JediKnight
Se eu postar, quero ver a tradução em baixo, ok ?
ahhhhhh

adnz
sei lá, procura por aí

adnz
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Horoscopes by Adam Sandler

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.

JediKnight
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


adnz
Traduz ae, sem procurar na net hein...



Primal Fear - The Healer

In this deserted world
It's tough not to lose the heart
You once believed in miracles
Now it's a world apart

When the world is crashing down
And you're feeling down at all
When you feel there's no hope
Just follow me and you won't doubt

Alone on the hill lives the man they call healer
You look in his eyes and you know that it's real
That you feel that you're stronger
You lose all your weakness
You lose all your fear when you hear how he speaks
As you walk to the hill, to the man they call healer
Step by step you'll growl and you will start to see
That it's real what they say about the healer and his magic
He is small but a giant
You can see the whole world in his eyes

He lives beyond the old oak
In a cabin near the creek
Some say he's a drop out
Some say he's just a freak

I can tell without a doubt that's not true at all
Have you seen the old and sick climb up to the hill
Even if they crawl

Alone on the hill lives the man they call healer
You look in his eyes and you know that it's real
That you feel that you're stronger
You lose all your weakness
You lose all your fear when you hear how he speaks
As you walk to the hill, to the man they call healer
Step by step you'll grow and you will start to see
That it's real what they say about the healer and his magic
He is small but a giant
You can see the whole world in his eyes

adnz
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!

Baptists: only trouble is, they don't hold them under long enough.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.

Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

O_O

adnz
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


JediKnight
pq eu iria traduzir?

JediKnight
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


adnz
Pra me ensinar

adnz
Veterano
# mai/05
· votar


JediKnight
- -

Enviar sua resposta para este assunto
        Tablatura   
Responder tópico na versão original
 

Tópicos relacionados a Piadas em inglês - aprender e se divertir