| Autor | Mensagem | 
| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 
 
 Pe pe pessoal
 Vou postar por aqui de vez em quando umas piadas em inglês pra galera treinar o vocabulário e ao mesmo tempo se divertir.
 
 Tenho umas meio sem-graça, mas relevem, relevem...
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Peanuts
 =======
 
 A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits
 on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
 
 "Mind if I have a few" he asks." No, not at all" the woman replied.
 
 They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes
 that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the
 bowl.
 
 "I'm terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really just meant
 to eat a few."
 
 "Oh that's all right" the woman says. "Ever since I lost my teeth all
 I can do is suck the chocolate off them."
 
 
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| monk Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Piadas em inglês - aprender e se divertir
 
 cuidado tuarelli, a maggie ta chegando
 
 
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| Alexandre Souza Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 oh yes! very good hayhayhayhay
 
 
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| Rato Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 isso me preocupa muito
 
 
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| Individuo Veterano
 | # mai/05 · Editado por: Individuo · votar
 
 large bowl of peanuts
 
 tradução: as largas bolas do pênis
 
 isso ta ficando meio erotico...
 
 
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| Cabeça De Balde Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Naum achei graça...
 
 I do not speak English!
 
 
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| Rato Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 meu curso " APRENDA INGLÊS EM 4 MESES " me parece que não teve muita utilidade
 
 
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| guitarist from hell Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 -My computer doens't work! The hard drive crashed! What do I do?
 -Did you back up?
 -Why? Is it gonna blow?
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Individuo
 tradução: as largas bolas do pênis
 isso ta ficando meio erotico...
 
 huehue
 phoda
 
 
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| JediKnight Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 hehe essa é boa ... tem ateé em português
 
 
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| Rodrigo rvssvr Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 entendi mais ou menos, que a mulher comeu ameindoin, e a outra não tem dentes e sugava o chocolate, ahh sei lá hehe
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 At the Mental Hospital
 ==============
 
 Malcolm and Maureen were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
 they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Malcolm suddenly jumped
 into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
 
 Maureen promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
 Malcolm out.  When the medical director became aware of Maureen's heroic
 act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as
 he now considered her to be mentally stable.
 
 When he went to tell Maureen the news he said:
 
 Maureen, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being
 discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by
 jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that
 your act displays sound mindedness.
 
 The bad news is, Maureen, the patient you saved, hung himself right after
 you saved him, with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
 but he's dead.
 
 Maureen replied:
 
 He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry.
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Rodrigo rvssvr
 Era um pastor que foi visitar a véia.
 :)
 
 
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| JediKnight Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 maggie
 uahUHAUhauHAUHuahuHAUhauHAUHa muito boa essa mesmo
 
 
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| monk Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 essa da maureen é boa, a outra é bem idiota
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 monk
 Yep
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 
 The Blonde at the Parking Lot
 ===================
 
 I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to
 make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out
 on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain
 there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and
 saying emphatically:
 
 -- Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay!
 
 The driver of a nearby car, perhaps noting that I am a blonde, gave me
 a strange look and said:
 
 -- Why don't you just put it in park?
 
 
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| Ed_Vedder Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 I very well mister you
 
 
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| Rodrigo rvssvr Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Era um pastor que foi visitar a véia.
 :)
 
 eu leio e só pego as palavras que eu conheço, ai depois monto, ai a interpretação sai uma porcaria hehe
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 galera, postem aí uns textos in english pra nós!
 
 
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| JediKnight Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Se eu postar, quero ver a tradução em baixo, ok ?
 
 
 | 
| adnz Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 maggie
 po, essas aí nao tem graca :T
 onde eu acho piadas em ingles? T_T
 
 
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| maggie Veterana
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 JediKnight
 Se eu postar, quero ver a tradução em baixo, ok ?
 ahhhhhh
 
 adnz
 sei lá, procura por aí
 
 
 | 
| adnz Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Horoscopes by Adam Sandler
 
 Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
 
 Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.
 
 Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
 
 Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
 
 Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
 
 Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
 
 Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
 
 Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
 
 Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.
 
 Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
 
 Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit.
 
 Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
 
 
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| JediKnight Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 adnz
 Traduz ae, sem procurar na net hein...
 
 
 
 Primal Fear - The Healer
 
 In this deserted world
 It's tough not to lose the heart
 You once believed in miracles
 Now it's a world apart
 
 When the world is crashing down
 And you're feeling down at all
 When you feel there's no hope
 Just follow me and you won't doubt
 
 Alone on the hill lives the man they call healer
 You look in his eyes and you know that it's real
 That you feel that you're stronger
 You lose all your weakness
 You lose all your fear when you hear how he speaks
 As you walk to the hill, to the man they call healer
 Step by step you'll growl and you will start to see
 That it's real what they say about the healer and his magic
 He is small but a giant
 You can see the whole world in his eyes
 
 He lives beyond the old oak
 In a cabin near the creek
 Some say he's a drop out
 Some say he's just a freak
 
 I can tell without a doubt that's not true at all
 Have you seen the old and sick climb up to the hill
 Even if they crawl
 
 Alone on the hill lives the man they call healer
 You look in his eyes and you know that it's real
 That you feel that you're stronger
 You lose all your weakness
 You lose all your fear when you hear how he speaks
 As you walk to the hill, to the man they call healer
 Step by step you'll grow and you will start to see
 That it's real what they say about the healer and  his magic
 He is small but a giant
 You can see the whole world in his eyes
 
 
 | 
| adnz Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
 
 Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!
 
 Baptists: only trouble is, they don't hold them under long enough.
 
 A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
 
 Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells.
 
 Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
 
 You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
 
 O_O
 
 
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| adnz Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 JediKnight
 pq eu iria traduzir?
 
 
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| JediKnight Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 adnz
 Pra me ensinar
 
 
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| adnz Veterano
 | # mai/05 · votar
 
 JediKnight
 - -
 
 
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